I Have Breasts, Aru!
by Five Tailed Demon Dog
Summary: China wants attention and knows the way how to get it... only he forgot it was kind of permanent, Hetalia/Ranma 1/2 drabble


Disclaimer: I own nothing

Rated: T

* * *

"This will show them," China smirked, the kettle of cold water swinging in his hands, "They will see that I am just as a big presence as them – aru." He snickered, kicking the door open to the Allied Powers meeting in a needlessly dramatic fashion.

All eyes quickly flew to him and then much to his irritation, everyone seemed to dismiss his presence like he wasn't even important!

(It was almost as bad as the mysterious blond nation who resembled America).

"I have something to show you all – aru," China said, his brows twitching in anger when nobody appeared to hear him. And so, he repeated his words much louder (almost to the point of yelling) and was satisfied when everyone gathered glanced up at him warily.

"There is no need to shout," England looked annoyed, "We can hear you just fine, China." He huffed, earning an eye roll from said nation because it was complete lie.

"What's up, Dude?" America asked brightly, swinging an arm around the shorter country and jostling him roughly, "Got any good plans for us?"

"I do," China smirked, _'For me – aru,' _He held up the kettle of cold water, earning blank looks from his allies, "I found this curiosity in my country," He almost wiggled in anticipation as the others looked at him impatiently, obviously wanting him to get on with it, "Observe – aru!"

With that, he dumped the cold water over himself.

(And yes, it was damn freezing-cold).

"We don't have time for childish games," England snorted, not seeing the point of China's... whatever he was doing, "Sit down and belt up."

"_L'Angleterre_," France's suave voice said after a few moments of observing, "You really are blind, _oui_?" He purred, immediately seeing the differences between the China of before and the China of now, "Or perhaps you don't swing that way at all, hmm?"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" England bristled, directing his glare towards America (who, strangely enough, was suddenly hovering over China like he was actually interested), "Sit down, you Git!" He snapped.

"Holy shit!" America widened his eyes, seeing the differences like France did, "China, what did you do?" He gasped, groping China's chest like he had every right to, "You've... you've got BOOBS!"

England almost fell to the ground at the loud declaration, "What rubbish are you babbling about now, America?" He asked impatiently, growing more irritated as France and Russia took America's lead and hovered over China.

China smirked again, not taking any offence to America's blatant violation of his person, "That's right – aru," He seemed to be preen under the attention, "I have breasts."

"They're tiny," America noted, "But they're still there!" He gasped, as if realising something, "I knew it! You were a girl all along!"

"No," China said, "It is a strange phenomenon in my country – aru," He finally pushed America's hands away from his chest, "It is called _Zhòuquánxiāng_."

"Zo-whatta-what-what?" America blinked, "Dude, you have tits!" He couldn't seem to wrap his mind around that fact.

"If you fall into one of the springs at _Zhòuquánxiāng_, then you will become whatever has drowned there – aru," China explained, "This particular spring water was that of _Niángnìquán_ or 'Spring of Drowned Girl'."

"Yao should put her hair in Chinese buns like girls do, yes?" Russia had this rather disturbing look to his icy violet eyes, "It will be cute, da?"

China looked proud that his plan worked and was ready to turn back his male form when a stoic voice interrupted them all.

"China-san," Japan said, "Perhaps you have forgotten that the Jusenkyo curses are permanent?" He stated, "After all, a few of my own citizens are stuck with the curse," He stated, ignoring how China seemed to be frozen at the 'permanent' part as he screamed 'Aiyahhh, I forgoooot!' in a high-pitched girlish voice, _'Though I do wonder when Saotome-san and his friends will stop destroying Nerima...'_

"... Isn't any one of you wankers wondering what the hell Japan is doing here?"


End file.
